I was reading up on a new to me concept called productivity shame and something clicked. In creative pursuits, shame and guilt are just perched on our desks watching us. The problem is society has taught us that we must do all the things. Rest is secondary to productivity. The solution, monitoring ourselves more and trusting our bodies.
Why are we always apologizing for needing to rest? Why are we apologizing for days we haven't created something?
Creativity in general is a frowned upon expression of self. To express yourself and pursue your joy in play seems silly to some. I know when I tell people I am majoring in Apparel Design and Merchandising they are often unimpressed, and by their tone or faces they wonder why I didn't study business, accounting, or something else safe. Recently, I have come to believe that many wish they had the courage to pursue what they wanted, instead of succumbing to the societal or parental pressures to conform and realizing they were unhappy after being heavily in debt.
With this, I realized that I have learned how to not have it in my professional careers yet that shadow somehow always appears around my creative endeavors. Guilt and shame have always been intertwined with my creative process, so much that it has caused my motion to come to a complete standstill and caused me to question myself for trying.
If you are feeling less productive than usual, that’s okay. The season is shifting quickly, and 2020 stretched us all past our usual comfort levels.
Did you know I am a Projector? If you aren’t familiar with what I am talking about, it’s Human Design. I stumbled on this a decade ago and just have had the energy to explore it a bit more this year with my expanding curiosity around my quirks and tendencies.
Something that stood out for me from observing was the fact that my energy comes in bursts, and I generally can only run for 3 hours per day until I need a bigger period of rest and ease. Interestingly enough, I decided to shift my business model to support my need for rest a few years back and realize I was supporting my pace.
If you are having a slower time than usual, use this time to observe your energy. Are you more energetic in the mornings or afternoons? Do you need a period of rest? Do you allow yourself to take moments of pause? In observation we can find out more about ourselves and feel more connected with the world.
My new goal is to release all of the guilt and shame I have around creating and just create. Although I create for myself, someone will appreciate what I have to share. The best way to combat productivity guilt is to know thyself.
Here is an affirmation for today. Even if you don't believe it, or wish to modify it to fit your tone, that's alright. The goal is to support yourself as you support others.
I am a creative expert! I have been creating since I was a child, and can be trusted to listen to my intuition!
Want to know what I am listening to. A new podcast I think we all should know about by Margo Tantau called Windowsill Chats. It's just the best thing ever.
Food for thought.